MGEL Mini: My Brain Says I’m Safe. My Body Disagrees.
Imagine you’re a knight in medieval times.
You’re returning home to the castle after a victorious day on the battlefield. As you approach, the drawbridge lowers. You step onto it with confidence–only to hear a sharp crack.
The bridge, in a state of disrepair, snaps in half and you tumble into the moat.
The next few seconds are a blur.
You fight your way to shore, a crocodile nipping at your heels.
You collapse on solid ground, soaked and exhausted–drenched in fear and weighed down by a hundred pounds of armor.
The next morning, you’re told to return to the battlefield. The drawbridge lowers again.
This time, you hesitate.
You saw others cross it moments ago. You know it was repaired overnight. Intellectually, you know it’s safe.
But your body won’t move.
The people behind you are getting restless. You can hear them muttering–Why won’t you just move already? What’s the holdup?
Your anxiety spikes. Shame creeps in. You start to question yourself.
You’ve crossed this bridge before. You know the rules. You’ve seen it’s safe.
But your nervous system?
Your nervous system remembers the fall.
It remembers the ice cold water as it hit your skin.
It remembers the crushing weight of your armor, the crocodile’s teeth snapping just inches away.
And its job is not logic. Its job is survival.
So it slams the brakes and yells NOPE.
Not until it knows–not just in your head, but in your bones–that you’re safe to try again.
I call this whole experience The Moat Feeling (name still in progress).
It hits me every time I do something that draws attention to myself.
Every time I step out of hiding.
Every time I try to be seen.
Like starting a blog.
I feel like I’ve been trapped in the castle for decades, watching others walk freely across the bridge. And even though I know I’m ready, even though I want to cross–I still freeze.
Now I know it’s not because I’m weak.
It’s because my body remembers.
If you’ve felt this too–like you’re rooted in place even though you know it’s safe–you’re not alone.
Your nervous system isn’t broken. It’s trying to protect you.
The moat feeling doesn’t mean you’re failing.
It means you’re trying.
